I found an old film of me as a very uncertain and nervous tori, doing taisabaki on bokken attacks by my teacher at the time, Toshikazu Ichimura. He was 6 dan Renshi in iaido, so he knew how to swing that thingy. Me, I was 19 or 20 years old, hardly yet comfortable in my hakama, swinging my arms as if longing to fly away. It was in 1973 or '74.
I put it on my YouTube account - sort of masochistically:
When I look at the film now, I am reminded of how flabbergasted I was with that whole aikido world, and the grim sensei, and the daredevil scent of it all. What was I doing there, really, being a timid adolescent at heart - and still loving it?
Do you recognize the feeling?