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Old 08-31-2007, 03:25 PM   #26
SeiserL
 
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Re: how to handle "significant other"/spouse who's not on board

Define "significant"?
Define "on board"?
Listen (enter and blend) with what the concerns are. Find other ways to study that still meet the concerns. Makes it a win/win.
Let them know that it benefits them too.
My lady is very supportive, though she is not on the mat and I don't know if she has ever actually seen me move.
Mutual support can be joining (musubi) or just getting off the line and out of the way for what is important to the other person.
If what is significant in one's life is not appreciated and validated by the other, the relationship and the love (two separate things) will eventually suffer.

Lynn Seiser PhD
Yondan Aikido & FMA/JKD
We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training. Train well. KWATZ!
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Old 08-31-2007, 03:35 PM   #27
James Davis
 
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Re: how to handle "significant other"/spouse who's not on board

Quote:
Lynn Seiser wrote: View Post
Mutual support can be joining (musubi) or just getting off the line and out of the way for what is important to the other person.
Nicely put.

"The only difference between Congress and drunken sailors is that drunken sailors spend their own money." -Tom Feeney, representative from Florida
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Old 08-31-2007, 06:06 PM   #28
tarik
 
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Re: how to handle "significant other"/spouse who's not on board

Quite a scope of responses.

I was in aikido before I met my wife, so when we began our relationship, it was quite simple. I made it clear to her that if she ever asked me to choose between her and aikido, it wouldn't work out for us. In response, she required the same of me and her duties as a volunteer firefighter/EMT.

We clearly understood one another's priorities and that what we did was a part of who we were and what attracted us to the other person. Later, without being asked, we have each made willing sacrifices for one another when appropriate.

I have a feeling most people don't address this sort of issue in their relationships right up front and immediately.

Regards,

Tarik Ghbeish
Jiyūshin-ryū AikiBudō - Iwae Dojo

MASAKATSU AGATSU -- "The true victory of self-mastery."
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Old 08-31-2007, 06:46 PM   #29
SeiserL
 
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Re: how to handle "significant other"/spouse who's not on board

Quote:
Tarik Ghbeish wrote: View Post
We clearly understood one another's priorities and that what we did was a part of who we were and what attracted us to the other person. Later, without being asked, we have each made willing sacrifices for one another when appropriate. I have a feeling most people don't address this sort of issue in their relationships right up front and immediately.
Nice.
Compliments and respect.
Lead, and teach, by example.
Yes, do it honest, up front, and early.

Lynn Seiser PhD
Yondan Aikido & FMA/JKD
We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training. Train well. KWATZ!
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