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Old 09-01-2006, 10:36 AM   #51
crbateman
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Quote:
Ron Tisdale wrote:
The other night I did a stupid with an obnoxious driver...my comment to myself was "bring it on, I'm not in the mood and I'll finish you..." -- not the proper frame of mind at all. For all I knew, he could have had a gun. It didn't come to anything thankfully...but as a barometer, it let me know my own control wasn't where it should be.
It's great to have self control. Sometimes better still to have self control AND a gun of your own...
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Old 09-01-2006, 10:42 AM   #52
Ron Tisdale
Dojo: Doshinkan dojo in Roxborough, Pa
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Certainly, but personally I refuse at this point to even own a gun, let alone apply for a CCW. I do have a relative who has suggested it, but I declined. I think my reluctance may be some left overs from my more liberal days...but I frankly really dislike being around them.

I did have an instructor though who took us to a range and taught us to shoot. It was a good experience. Just not something I want as a constant part of my life though.

Best,
Ron

Ron Tisdale
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"The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind."
St. Bonaventure (ca. 1221-1274)
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Old 09-01-2006, 10:43 AM   #53
James Davis
 
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Luckily, I haven't had to deal with as many jerks in the dojo as I have nice people. When I first started, I dealt with them by not dealing with them at all. I removed myself from the situation, and sat at the edge of the mat. My sensei seemed to approve of my doing this, instead of "exploring my other options" when I met resistance.

Now that I'm in a position of responsibility in the dojo, and I have a little more skill, I try to stop the problem before it starts. When I have an uke come up to demonstrate technique with me for the rest of the class, I usually throw them pretty easily the first time around. After that, when they know what technique I'm planning to teach, sometimes uke will try to resist. I will then usually blend with what they give me and change the technique entirely, and throw them again. If I say something like "We have other tools to deal with resistance, but I want us all to practice this technique tonight.", it generally reassures the students that aikido works and nips the resistance problem in the bud.

If I notice someone being a problem uke with another student, I generally make them my next demo uke. They're usually not being mean about it; they're just curious as to "what nage will do against this".

Like some other teachers, I like to use the term "paired kata" to explain our resistance free training. I also like to remind my "hard core" students that resistance will have its place... later, when nage has a little more skill.

When I was a sixth kyu, it was not my business to try to correct student behavior. Now that I teach,sometimes I have to. It's usually not unpleasant if I turn it into something that everyone can learn and benefit from.

"The only difference between Congress and drunken sailors is that drunken sailors spend their own money." -Tom Feeney, representative from Florida
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Old 09-01-2006, 10:59 AM   #54
James Davis
 
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Quote:
Ron Tisdale wrote:
Certainly, but personally I refuse at this point to even own a gun, let alone apply for a CCW. I do have a relative who has suggested it, but I declined. I think my reluctance may be some left overs from my more liberal days...but I frankly really dislike being around them.

I did have an instructor though who took us to a range and taught us to shoot. It was a good experience. Just not something I want as a constant part of my life though.

Best,
Ron
I can understand that completely. I have a concealed permit, but I generally don't carry. I just have it for the day when I and my family decide to go on a road trip, in case we get two flat tires. I don't like to think about the three of us walking alongside the road unprotected, or of going for help by myself and leaving my wife without that extra tool for defense. Cell-phones are wonderful, if they work.

I don't really like being around guns either. Even when I go target shooting with people I trust, somebody might get careless; that's no good. I do like the option of carrying my gun when I go to feed the horses, though. Poisonous snakes like our high ground, especially after tropical storm Ernesto dropped so much rain on us. I didn't think of the pistol on my hip this morning as something that would keep me perfectly safe, but it was an extra tool. Having it with me made the experience of batting away mosquitos and keeping an eye out for water moccassins slightly more enjoyable.

"The only difference between Congress and drunken sailors is that drunken sailors spend their own money." -Tom Feeney, representative from Florida
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Old 09-01-2006, 11:38 AM   #55
Ron Tisdale
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Sounds like you have a good life! And a very balanced approach. I would probably not shoot a snake, I rather like them...but I don't own horses on high ground in Florida either. My grandfather in Orlando always wanted me to kill the snakes I caught on his lake front property. I (very) politely declined. I'm still amazed by the fact that he didn't tear me a new one for that. He was extremely stict in every other regard.

Best,
Ron

Ron Tisdale
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"The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind."
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Old 09-01-2006, 12:11 PM   #56
crbateman
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

I'm cool with snakes. In fact, I have a seven-footer hanging on the back of my chair as I write this. As far as the gun thing, I have considerable training and a permit, and carry one in my car. I have another near me in bed. In my life, I have taken them out to protect myself twice. Once to hold a peeper until the sheriff arrived, and the other to back down an attacker with a hatchet in hand. This is why I have them, and why I sleep very well about it. No regrets, no moral issues, and no need to injure anyone. My MA training gives me other tools to use, but in the right situation, a weapon is a very effective deterrent. When it counts, I'd rather have one than not have one, but I also realize that it's not right for everybody.
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Old 09-01-2006, 02:38 PM   #57
markwalsh
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Compete, punish, ignore, stop an ask - these are the tactics Ive been using with arseholes for years but Im getting dissatisfied with them. The later is also hard with the language barrier I usually have in my life.
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Old 09-01-2006, 03:37 PM   #58
Kevin Wilbanks
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

With the gun issue, I think it's all about geography. I used to live in Florida. It's like the wild west there. Almost everyone has a gun. Illiteracy and stupidity are much more rampant than many other areas of the country. Several of their cities are in the top 10 in the US for random violent crime. Being opposed to even owning one there could seem very irrational, depending on where you live and where you go.

On the other hand, in Madison, WI, many people will think you are crazy for owning one, unless it's for hunting. The vast majority of violence is about drunken college kids on the weekends, and random violent crime is relatively rare. Many people don't even lock their doors or cars. I had firearms handy and ready in FL, but don't bother in WI. Geography.
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Old 09-01-2006, 03:45 PM   #59
crbateman
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Sounds like a little slice of heaven up there, Kevin. Hope you folks up there can keep it that way. Too late for us down here. Too many people here from cultures where the values are vastly different.
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Old 09-01-2006, 04:16 PM   #60
Lyle Bogin
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

When I have trouble with a practice partner (that isn't a very high level martial artist) I usually go one of two ways....one is I decided they are really not going to help me improve my life so to speak, so I stop training with them. The other way is to just treat them as sempai and do whatever they say. Even if I think their martial arts essentially sucks, I doesn't mean they can't be good training partners...in well moderated doses.

I try to remember that a person teaching you too much is actually showing you how to defeat them.
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Old 09-01-2006, 08:56 PM   #61
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Quote:
Nick Pittson wrote:
I agree.

However the original post was asking was how to deal with a jerk of a partner (talking, teaching, showing-off, etc).
Choke him out.

Nagababa

ask for divine protection Ame no Murakumo Kuki Samuhara no Ryuo
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Old 09-01-2006, 11:40 PM   #62
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Quote:
Szczepan Janczuk wrote:
Choke him out.
Disposable Uke.
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Old 09-02-2006, 06:50 AM   #63
Amelia Smith
 
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Quote:
Lyle Bogin wrote:
I try to remember that a person teaching you too much is actually showing you how to defeat them.
True!

On the gun issue, I've always thought of them as a sort of magnet for trouble, but I do live in an area where very few people have guns. I'd rather not have a gun in the house than have one, and have it fall into the wrong hands (malicious, inexperienced, or both).
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Old 09-02-2006, 12:27 PM   #64
Nick P.
 
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Quote:
Szczepan Janczuk wrote:
Choke him out.
Atemi to the crotch.
Or as a friend of mine used to say "5 against 2."

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Old 09-05-2006, 09:04 AM   #65
Nick Simpson
Dojo: White Rose Aikido - Durham University
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

I used the drop to your knees during shihonage on sunday when my uke tried to counter my shihonage. Worked a treat

They're all screaming about the rock n roll, but I would say that it's getting old. - REFUSED.
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Old 09-05-2006, 09:33 AM   #66
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Quote:
Nick Simpson wrote:
I used the drop to your knees during shihonage on sunday when my uke tried to counter my shihonage. Worked a treat
My oldest son and I worked on some very resistive shihonage this weekend as well.
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Old 09-05-2006, 10:00 AM   #67
Nick Simpson
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

What better way to spend your leisure time eh?

They're all screaming about the rock n roll, but I would say that it's getting old. - REFUSED.
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Old 12-30-2006, 09:17 PM   #68
Mike Galante
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Hi Kevin,
You know when dealing with jerks, it is a great opportunity to bring all the emotions and mental fighting into your lower abdomen. Even if no technique is really getting practiced. The great benefit of redirecting your fighting instincts is invaluable. Next step is to do the former and try to open your heart to the guy.

Just my $ 0.2

All the Best and Happy New Year to one and all,

Mike Galante
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Old 12-31-2006, 03:53 PM   #69
Ken Zink
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

Whenever I'm dealing with a difficult situation in the Dojo I first examine what Uke is doing and if its good Budo. If it is and it's just difficult for me than I take it as an opportunity to grow and keep practicing, if its the latter then I adapt to what they are doing to show them what's wrong. If that's means atemi then I do that (all at the same speed as the motion of course so they can adapt to me still) or I'll show them where it comprimises their posture ect.

Many times people do not realize that when we are training we do so in a specific manner because we are embodying certain principals. We stay full and keep entering because to become stiff in an effort to show strength means we stop moving and can be hit easily by any skilled martial artist. So I've also found its beneficial to explain these concepts to those new to the Dojo who don't quiet understand why we train the way we do.
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Old 12-31-2006, 09:50 PM   #70
Shannon Frye
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

My recommendation is to confront the issue and the person. Get it out in the open, and get it over with. I had a similar problem, and figured I'd just avoid the person. I kept my distance. Behind the scenes, the situation festered, he rallied support, and eventually turned other against me. I eventually left the dojo over this.

Any more, I'll be confronting morons from the very start.
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Old 01-01-2007, 11:33 PM   #71
xuzen
 
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Re: Dealing with a jerk...

A good few rounds of DOJO BRAWL (TM) err.. I mean randori/jiyu waza should keep everyone happy. Class, repeat after me... If you don't spar, you don't find out if it works or not. Now chant this mantra 100 times every hour.

Boon.

SHOMEN-ATE (TM), the solution to 90% of aikido and life's problems.
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