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Old 12-02-2006, 02:32 AM   #1
stelios
Dojo: aikido dojo nippos Crete
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 75
Greece
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Time off...

Amazing how many responsibilities arise when newborns are around! It might also mean one must take time off previously beloved activities (aikido training, for instance) and devote more time to the new family member. Sensible enough. Priorities set right.
Although I believe that, on the long ardous trip in the aikido path, some time off regular practice will do no harm, there is some sort of bitterness left in the mouth when one misses seminar after seminar for some time. Of course, things could have been a lot worse (we have many friends in this forum that are not able to practise at all) but still...
I do not know. Maybe it is that archegon feeling that the more you learn the more you will be able to pass on to the offspring. Lately I have been experiencing this in many aspects of my life, doing things that were left aside for years.
Any wisdom words?
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Old 12-02-2006, 05:27 AM   #2
Laurel Seacord
Dojo: Seishinkan (Ki no Kenkyukai), Tokyo, Japan
Location: Tokyo
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 24
Japan
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Re: Time off...

Don't regret the time and energy focused on your child and spouse! Although you certainly won't be throwing them around, you can effectively train your physical posture and mental attitude when you interact with them. For example, to be aware of your attitude toward your newborn, and to realize that everyone around you can be thought of in the same way. It is a great opportunity to let go of defenses you may actually not need.
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Old 12-02-2006, 10:16 AM   #3
heathererandolph
Dojo: Kokikai Aikido Boston
Location: Boston
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 119
United_States
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Re: Time off...

I don't think life will get any less complicated from here on in. I think Aikido is great for relaxation and mental health. Try to work out a schedule with your spouse so you can still enjoy it. This is one of those times in life when one realizes what is important in life. Don't feel guilty. Being a parent will probably make you better at Aikido, and likewise.
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Old 12-02-2006, 05:16 PM   #4
Krista DeCoste
Location: Nova Scotia
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 22
Canada
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Re: Time off...

Congratulations on your newborn! I think it is great that you are taking the time. They do become less demanding ....eventually. Immerse yourself in your present role as much as possible and that connection will last. They grow up fast...sometimes when I look at my children I wonder where the years went. Aikido will be there when baby is a little older.
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Old 12-02-2006, 05:51 PM   #5
Nick P.
 
Nick P.'s Avatar
Dojo: Sukagawa Aikido Club of Montreal
Location: Montreal
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 639
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Re: Time off...

Hello Stelios,

I too am recent father (son almost 3, daughter turns 1 soon), and I completely identify with your feelings of being torn between two or more loves, never mind out-and-out responsibilities.

What took me a while to realize was that it's all about balance. There are times to not go to class as your wife is sick and those 2 hours of training, as you put, will do no harm if missed.

I decided to attend no more than 2 of the 3 classes per week once my daughter was born for the first 6 months. This gave me the illusion that I was in control, but it at least allowed me to say "Remember, 2 max per week." if something came up.
Oddly, it made my 2 nights a week, or even 1, that much more precious and important.

I believe we will be able to return to previous training habits in about 4~6 years, perhaps sooner.

-PS- I was in Crete in '95 visiting relatives in Iraklio, and enjoyed visiting Chania during our 3 weeks there. Next time through we should meet!

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Old 12-04-2006, 12:16 AM   #6
stelios
Dojo: aikido dojo nippos Crete
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 75
Greece
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Time off...

Thank you all for your replies.
Good health to you all!
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