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Old 08-23-2006, 11:39 PM   #1
Apoy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 19
Australia
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Naughty Aiki

There are plenty of times when aikidokas have conversations that ends up in the drain. Funny enough aikidokas still use aikido jargon to describe things that is already the drain.

Here are some example for the naughty aiki that I have experienced and heard:

I did a lot of kokyu training in the pub today (kokyu action mimicking the drinking of beer).

It is not a beer belly it is good Hara because I have lots of ki.

Calling a three person training sessions a 'threesome' or 'manage et toi'

I love Hamni Handachi in the bedroom

Shomen yours and I'll shomen mine

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Old 08-24-2006, 12:51 AM   #2
Apoy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 19
Australia
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Oh another one that somebody forwarded me.

'I like my Jo thick, long, and straight'

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Old 08-26-2006, 06:43 AM   #3
AESBird
Dojo: Ferndown
Location: Dorset
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 8
United Kingdom
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Re: Naughty Aiki

One from someone instructing in our dojo - 'Grab her as soon as she touches you; oh, no, that didn't come out right!'.

There is an art to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
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Old 08-26-2006, 11:37 PM   #4
Jess McDonald
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 86
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Perversion and damnation!! Heed thy tongues sinners!! For the Great One watches with bitter haste!! (I'm just joking you guys...I mean no disrespect...I'm very 21st-century politically correct)
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Old 08-27-2006, 06:36 AM   #5
Tony Hudspith
Dojo: Hartlepool/Peterlee
Location: Hartlepool
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 38
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Hi
One that always gets a smile in my dojo is when I use my missus as an uke and I say when she attacks we come together at the same time!
It's honest enough, it's just you people with mud for minds who twist it like a sankyo!
Keep em coming I'm loving this thread!!
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Old 08-27-2006, 07:58 AM   #6
Mark Freeman
Dojo: Dartington
Location: Devon
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,220
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Quote:
Tony Hudspith wrote:
Hi
One that always gets a smile in my dojo is when I use my missus as an uke and I say when she attacks we come together at the same time!
Obviously the hours of practice are paying off

Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have.
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Old 08-27-2006, 08:14 AM   #7
Donald Pillow
Location: Charlotte
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 7
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Re: Naughty Aiki

You guys are destroying my image of stern wristdestroying Aikido maestres!

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Old 08-28-2006, 07:50 PM   #8
Apoy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 19
Australia
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Re: Naughty Aiki

I appreciate it when I see an instructor highlight the use of the hip. and I always laugh when they slap their own butt to highlight the use of the hip.
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Old 08-28-2006, 08:05 PM   #9
Apoy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 19
Australia
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Re: Naughty Aiki

This story is just a disturbing story.

When I was in 4th kyu we had a sempai teach the class because sensei was away.

He is really into relaxation...relax this relax that he always says. One time he came up to me and my partner when we were doing ushiro waza. He adviced us graphically..."Relax your asshole, imagine there is a string that is connected from your navel via your relaxed asshole to the centre of the earth".

I tell you what; my partner and I were so uncomfortable that training session. It almost killed that personal trust that we willingly give during training.

Since then everytime a sempai advises me on aiki I have to take it with a grain of salt
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Old 08-29-2006, 10:52 AM   #10
Nick Simpson
Dojo: White Rose Aikido - Durham University
Location: Gateshead
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Yeah, thats weird...

I cant help but stiffle a chuckle when sensei says:

" I go down on him. "

When he means drop into a pin/knee into ribs.

Yes, Im very immature.

They're all screaming about the rock n roll, but I would say that it's getting old. - REFUSED.
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Old 08-29-2006, 11:18 AM   #11
James Davis
 
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Dojo: Ft. Myers School of Aikido
Location: Ft. Myers, FL.
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Quote:
Juan De La Cruz wrote:
This story is just a disturbing story.

When I was in 4th kyu we had a sempai teach the class because sensei was away.

He is really into relaxation...relax this relax that he always says. One time he came up to me and my partner when we were doing ushiro waza. He adviced us graphically..."Relax your asshole, imagine there is a string that is connected from your navel via your relaxed asshole to the centre of the earth".

I tell you what; my partner and I were so uncomfortable that training session. It almost killed that personal trust that we willingly give during training.

Since then everytime a sempai advises me on aiki I have to take it with a grain of salt
Damn, Juan! Don't share that!

"The only difference between Congress and drunken sailors is that drunken sailors spend their own money." -Tom Feeney, representative from Florida
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Old 08-29-2006, 01:56 PM   #12
Eric Webber
Dojo: Aikido West Reading
Location: Reading, Pa
Join Date: Dec 2004
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Saturday morning weapons class:

"Grab your favorite wood and get warmed up"

"Swing wood at will."
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Old 08-29-2006, 09:36 PM   #13
Apoy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 19
Australia
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Sunday Morning Weapons in the Park:

Breath the fresh air

Feel the length and hardness of your Jo

Get into rhythm

tski to penetrate with intention

Watch your rhythm

Breath and enjoy the rhythm

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Old 08-30-2006, 10:53 AM   #14
James Davis
 
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Dojo: Ft. Myers School of Aikido
Location: Ft. Myers, FL.
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Quote:
Eric Webber wrote:
Saturday morning weapons class:

"Grab your favorite wood and get warmed up"

"Swing wood at will."
Poor Will.

"The only difference between Congress and drunken sailors is that drunken sailors spend their own money." -Tom Feeney, representative from Florida
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Old 08-30-2006, 11:19 AM   #15
Eric Webber
Dojo: Aikido West Reading
Location: Reading, Pa
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Re: Naughty Aiki

We've got a couple guys named Joe who take some abuse, too, when I tell the class to grab a jo.
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Old 09-01-2006, 03:09 AM   #16
Lee Mulgrew
Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Quote:
Tony Hudspith wrote:
Hi
One that always gets a smile in my dojo is when I use my missus as an uke and I say when she attacks we come together at the same time!
It's honest enough, it's just you people with mud for minds who twist it like a sankyo!
Keep em coming I'm loving this thread!!
funny that, she says i go down too easy.

when doing ushiro techniques, is it correct to say the uke enters from behind?
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Old 09-01-2006, 03:10 AM   #17
Lee Mulgrew
Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
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Re: Naughty Aiki

is that a tanto in your hakama or are you just pleased to see me?
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Old 09-01-2006, 03:19 AM   #18
Lee Mulgrew
Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
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Re: Naughty Aiki

there is a small French lady who trains with us (hello Silvy!!) and she sometimes misses the subtle naunces of our language much to my amusement such as when she wants to train with you she has been known to say "come, play with me and then I play with you", or "I go with him first then I will take you both". there are many many others!
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Old 09-03-2006, 09:46 PM   #19
Apoy
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Posts: 19
Australia
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Re: Naughty Aiki

During Hamni Handachi instuction:

- Uke on your knees and grab nage strongly and firmly

- Nage feel where uke has grabbed, feel the ki on the grip, then drop your hips and enter.

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Old 09-04-2006, 06:29 AM   #20
Steve Mullen
Dojo: White Rose (Sunderland)
Location: Washington
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England
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Quote:
Nick Simpson wrote:
Yeah, thats weird...

I cant help but stiffle a chuckle when sensei says:

" I go down on him. "

When he means drop into a pin/knee into ribs.

Yes, Im very immature.
Ill never look at sensei the same again.

"No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more." - Kenshiro Abbe Shihan
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Old 09-04-2006, 06:12 PM   #21
Astig Kamao
Join Date: Aug 2006
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Well my big boo boo is during kokyu ho at the end of the class.

There is a fair amount of times that I've done kokyu ho suwariwaza with a woman. Women are great to train with less muscle needed, more angle, and grace. Unfortunately sometimes I get resisted funny in kokyu ho and...um...my open hand kokyu ho lands on the...errr..umm Boobs.
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Old 09-05-2006, 04:19 AM   #22
Lee Mulgrew
Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Quote:
Michael Siminig wrote:
Well my big boo boo is during kokyu ho at the end of the class.

There is a fair amount of times that I've done kokyu ho suwariwaza with a woman. Women are great to train with less muscle needed, more angle, and grace. Unfortunately sometimes I get resisted funny in kokyu ho and...um...my open hand kokyu ho lands on the...errr..umm Boobs.
I have the same problem mate! luckily my wife trains with me now so no more grope-age problems! Still, it was always a great excuse!

there are soooo many inuendos that I dare not put on here in case I get banned from ever coming on again but with any direct technique Tony always wants us to commit ourselves and make a deep entry (to take their balance you understand!)
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Old 09-05-2006, 04:01 PM   #23
Tony Hudspith
Dojo: Hartlepool/Peterlee
Location: Hartlepool
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Lee
Do you ever get worried when someone from Aikido comes up to Helen and says "Hi Helen, you look different with your clothes on". It wouldn't be too bad with me but you know what Marie is like, she fights 3 people at the same time with her boobs hanging out. For those who don't know what happened I suppose you had to be there. The Police thought it was funny though.
See you at training on Thursday if not before mate.

Tony
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Old 09-05-2006, 04:16 PM   #24
Rigel Keffer
Dojo: Aikido Society of Memphis
Location: Arkansas
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 30
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Re: Naughty Aiki

Quote:
Tony Hudspith wrote:
Lee
It wouldn't be too bad with me but you know what Marie is like, she fights 3 people at the same time with her boobs hanging out. For those who don't know what happened I suppose you had to be there. The Police thought it was funny though.
Must. Have. Full. Story.
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Old 09-08-2006, 04:05 AM   #25
Lee Mulgrew
Dojo: Dynamic Aikido Noquet Hartlepool England
Location: Hartlepool
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Re: Naughty Aiki

it's like that scene in the last samurai where Tom Cruise fights all the samurai surrounding him.... except with three attackers, one defender, no swords and two breasts! It was quite a sight! BOIING!
It was proof that aikido works though.

Must remember to get the cctv tape from my mum (she runs all the cameras in the town)

Tony, as an afterthought I think that we should introduce this style of aikido into our club!
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