In high school I was never picked on. I was the guy picking on the bullies who picked on the nerds or weaker types.
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A societal peace where such petty mind-sets start and continue wars be it on a personal level for revenge that grows to being countries embraced in violence and killing for generations.
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I think a lot of people who were picked on in school look back as adults and try to make heads or tails of it. They try and make it into some kind of grand philosophical debate.
Sometimes the bigger guy just picks on the smaller guy because their smaller. standing up to a bully isn't embracing killing for generations, it's physically stopping someone from hurting you. Laws of nature.
The control I'll teach my daughter is to use violence to get control of the situation then use pain compliance to convince the other person to stop. She doesn't have to break someones arm but I want her to be prepared to do so if it comes down to her life or the other persons.
You can over come yourself as much as you want, if you physically can't defend yourself then a bully isn't going to care much for your inner peace. If you're happy going home with a broken nose black eye and no money in your wallet it's a personal choice I suppose.
Sometimes to gain control and peace you need to do more violence than then the other guy.
People WILL do violence. Be it an individual level in a school yard or as a country. People often don't seem comfortable with accepting that but where would we be if people at one point didn't say 'okay enough is enough' and rose up to meet the aggressors.