Quote:
Anonymous User wrote:
Um, just to clarify... coming back to this is just hard in ways I could never have expected. I am so happy I am doing it. But it's maddening that I know a bunch of things in my head, some of which are true and useful and some of which are not true or useful, and remember some things in my body, again, which are mostly reliable but not entirely... it's an extra layer of reading.
I feel like it would be easier to just be a real beginner instead of a rebeginner. ...
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This is a really valuable insight.
It's hard enough being an adult beginner at something completely new. We like to imagine that we are generally competent, coordinated grownups who can do something simple after being clearly shown, whether that's an Aikido technique or a dance step. It's a bit of a blow to feel utterly lost and confused.
It's worse, as you've observed, and I'll second that, to be a "rebeginner." (That's a great term you've come up with.) I run into that with my guitar playing. I used to be pretty good. Years of lessons, festivals, week-long music camps, jamming with friends, etc. Now (after several years off due to hand/wrist problems) if I try to pick it up and play a few tunes it's terribly frustrating. There's that sense of "I
used to be able to do this really well, but now..." D'oh!
I feel the same way with new versions of software. Nothing is where I expect it, nothing works right. I used to know all the shortcuts... I've finally learned to just ignore all my own complaining and whining for the first week. It doesn't mean anything. Sure, I go ahead and fuss about how awful the new app is, and curse its usability team, and jump up and down about this or that insane feature. But I know I'll get through that stage and become proficient, and will probably come to like the new one better, even. So I just have fun ranting, but don't give my frustration any serious validity.
As for having technique Y explained after technique X was demonstrated, I've had that happen a few times. As an utter beginner I can only notice the most obvious things, like grabbing the wrong wrist. I'm in no position to correct anyone, but I can look for a moment, in my confusion, at another nage/uke pair on the mat, to see how they are doing it. Often my partner will look too, and we'll realize together that we were attempting the wrong thing, or Sensei may notice the confusion, and clarify what he wanted us to do.
I don't know how my dojo compares, on the talking continuum, but I've found my partners' explanations tremendously helpful. One thing that really struck me from day 1 was how good everyone is at teaching. And hearing things several different ways works well for me - one of them is bound to sink in.
Anyway, hang in there through that difficult rebeginner period. You're just going to feel awkward and frustrated for a while. You'll get your chops back soon enough.
Linda