Quote:
Jennifer Yabut wrote:
A good parent loves his/her child unconditionally, but is also quick to issue some "tough love" when needed.
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This is a topic for a totally different thread. I strongly suggest reading Alice Miller books to everyone.
Being the victim gives you unfortunate lessons in compassion - so you can be in touch with what it feels like to be on the short end of the stick. Being very strong gives you the option to use compassion you learned when you were not the stronger one. I was remarkably better at apathy - but I don't think it was very good for me and unacceptable (to me) as a family man.
I understand what Fred was saying. There is compassion in the sense of seeing emotionally as if you were in someone elses shoes - and being able to forgive them (or have compassion for them and not forgive them by the way). And there is the compassion like when Jesus was angry in the temple. (I liked the cool graphics Fred used to make that point in his way.)
As an aikido guy, I want to be so strong that I can have compassion for the person attacking me (IN VAIN of course) - and be able to see them as a result of a bunch of parenting and role model issues (where those parents/role models got that way as a result of the same, and so on) - and not need to PUNISH them for their unfortunate choice of acting out on me. I want to be able to and have the choice not to hurt them while I stay safe myself on all levels (even karmicly).
I really have no idea how I will attain the wisdom to not confuse compassion with my own damaged ego stuff and/or what I have learned from a damaged society in general. Compassion-confusion has two sides:
- on one side it can make me a push-over/enabler in some situations.
- on the other side, it can easily create the situation where I confuse the 'Jesus was angry in the temple' with my ego desire for vengence or justice or the value of teaching a lesson "for your own good".
Rob