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Old 06-02-2003, 07:18 AM   #31
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Quote:
Jay Peatee (JPT) wrote:
That is correct, in the 5 different dojo's that I have trained in regularly the instructor's have actively encouraged the students to train with everbody. Generally if the instructor's see that 2 people are paired for the night they will split them up.
That has been true in most dojos I have trained in, too. But not in this one. I think those who created the dojo felt that they had been held back by their own teachers, and they strongly felt that the hardworking and talented should be given the priviledge of practising mainly with each other.
Quote:
I'am interested in the reasons why you think these people were unpopular, I mean was it because of some character trait, or hygiene reasons or was it just because their Aikido sucked?.
Mainly because they are not advanced enough, have been trained in the wrong style, have a slightly odd personality or because the leader of the pack decide they do not like the person and the the others follow. This is the difference it makes if the tacher does not actively encourage practising with everybody, I think. I did not see any hygiene issues in this dojo, I have on other places though.
Quote:
The more I read your above statement the more I think you may have interpreted the situation incorrectly. Maybe the people at this dojo were a bit more stand offish than the previous dojo. One reason could be if the class was much bigger, therefore the opportunity to train with Mr popular might not occur (therefore you may assume that you are unpopular). Maybe they were staying together and not practising with others/newbie's for a reason say for forthcoming gradings ?. Did somebody say to you that they would not train with you if you practised with Mr Unpopular or was that just your own conclusion ?
Well, I strongly believe the whole thing is the result where the instructors themselves very much want to choose with who they train. If I am seen practising mainly with beginners and "difficult" people, everyone would assume that I am one of these two things. And if your attitude is you practise mainly with your friends and those who give you good rides, why should you bother finding out if your first assumption was wrong?

For me personally, it was a combination of many things: one particular person who took a dislike of me (I confronted the person on the subject and got no clear explanation why, although I have some clues that I will not discuss here), but also that I did not learn how to play this specific social game. I did not show those I liked to practise with "hey, this was fun. Let's go for another ride" as I assumed you pick a new partner each technique. If they do not assume I particularly like them, why should they approach me? I did not take care of my social relations; I was used to not having to. And in the end I decided I have enough of social games outside the dojo, I do not need it on the tatami as well.

In the end, I do not think "right" and "wrong" matters so much. You must adopt to local standards, or you will have problems.
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