Quote:
James Sawers wrote:
For some reason we seem to be viewing the words "control" and manipulative" as negative. Certainly they can be, but they are just words used to convey actions with certain intents, that's all. We can all think of examples from either point of view, as we have already seen here, some, I think, equally valid, but they are just words.....the intent matters most.
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Sure, lanquage changes, the meaning of words changes. Nowadays anything can mean anything. If I want to shut down my old computer I have to press "start".
We may find this unavoidable or even acceptable. However, when we have a conversation, especially in writing, email, etc., it is important that we try to give meaning to the words that we use. If we would have a conversation about horses, then we may very well use different words like equus or cheval, but in order to progress in our conversation it is important that each of us has the same animal in mind.
If we use the words "manipulate" and "control" then in general these words have a negative sound to it. In a more philosophical sense there is a distinction that we can make between western thinking, that emphasizes control over our environment (and control over others things, including our own mind) and for instance Chinese Taoist or Japanese Shinto way of thinking that places more importance on going with nature instead of controlling nature.
Of course the intent matters most.
But no one can "read" intent without being face to face with another human being.
That makes it all the more important to try to use the appropriate words.
If someone wants to say "nurture" then that someone should not use words like "manipulate" or "control" . Or when he does and wants to give his words a different meaning, he should explain that beforehand.
Communication between human beings appears to be difficult enough - it would help if we would at least agree to the meaning of the words that we use.
Tom