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Old 08-22-2003, 04:04 PM   #33
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I think no one doubts the possibility of life partners/spouses/etc. enriching a dojo atmosphere and maybe being extremely helpful in dojo operation. The problem to my mind is when that person feels that their personal relationship with the chief instructor, alive or deceased, alone entitles them to a position of dojo leadership or respect (rather than the training history, skill, teaching ability and charisma, and general leadership qualities which put his/her spouse in that position).

Adding to this confusion is the fact that, in the case of a deceased teacher, the spouse may very well have complete ownership of the dojo and its financial affairs...it is a business, after all. This may not be the case if the dojo is a not-for-profit entity, of course.

In our organization, our teacher was gone. The spouse never did Aikido, but took control of things. This was correct to a point, since it was a for-profit business, and I assume therefore owned by the family...so they are responsible for the finances and such, unless they appoint someone else to do it.

But then it seemed that the spouse began to like the position of authority, and confused control of the business affairs with instructional/political leadership of the organization. Some misguided students, meaning well, of course, even began calling this person Sensei (which I still don't understand). Next thing you know, the spouse is making ranking, instructional, and political decisions. People are bowing to the spouse on the mat as this person strolls out (wearing blue jeans) to give speeches. Remember, this person never did Aikido.

The senior teaching staff for the most part deserted. A big mess, and it's all headed for the toilet.

So, I can empathize.

All I can say is don't stick around longer than you should out of loyalty to your deceased teacher. He/she's gone. Aikido is what is important, and you should do whatever you sincerely think is best for your training. If that's to leave, wish them the best, treasure the memories, and say sayonara.

Better yet, maybe band together with some others and start your own place. At some point the responsibility falls on us, which is what I guess our teachers are trying to prepare us for.
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