I was struck with a terrible bout of insomnia last night
My thought on this one is that, there comes a day for us all when we really dig into that kind of question, as you did. And for me it is enough to know that that day will come (for me as well) if I just train long enough. What I mean is It's no meaning to demand of yourself that the question (or answers) has to be raised (or answered) for the sake of it... In time they will come anyway.
Wow that was deep... Hope you got something out of that mist!