I'm an engineer too. Engineers rarely ever mind being wrong when we discover how to approach the right answer, because we passionately love solving difficult problems. To us, it's like being a kid in a candy store. And so, it's fun to talk about.
As far as passive aggressive goes, I say be humble and go for active assertive. And I'd say that if you (you meaning you in general) cannot honestly laugh it off when someone calls you tedious and pretentious, then you probably are...
Rob