Thread: Lady Aikido
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Old 07-28-2005, 04:43 AM   #14
Dazzler
Dojo: Bristol North Aikido Dojo
Location: Bristol
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 659
England
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Re: Lady Aikido

Quote:
Cromwell Salvatera wrote:

Another issue that I noticed is Male aikidokas bringing wives and girlfriends to class. They become very protective of them. I find that I have to be extra gentle then, so not to offend the boyfriend or husband. How does one deal with that?
Seen this and had to deal with some problems caused by it.

I have severals 'pairs' of students in class and generally there are no problems. Sometimes they are 'extra competitive' but they do nothing that disrupts the learning experience of the other students.

Where there is a large skill gap this 'buddying' is very useful...the beginner gets extra 'looking after' until they are at a level where they are self-sufficient and just part of the larger student body.

However....

As soon as something occurs which has a negative impact on the rest of the class then as an instructor you need to deal with it.

Everyone else is there for the Aikido...they don't want to watch canoodling (nice word...) so if something occurs that is making others uncomfortable then it needs to be sorted. Obviously how it is sorted depends on the personalities involved.

A more serious example I experienced was with a very large senior kyu grade who started a relationship with a begginer.

Generally this wasn't a problem, however, on one occasion at the close of class he very aggressively and rudely interjected in the training of his girlfriend and a smaller student and split them up because he wanted to train with his girlfriend.

The look on the face of the 3rd party spoke volumes for how this act was considered.

I found this action completely unacceptable and spoke to the boyfriend about it immediately after class.

His response was that he would choose who he trained with.

Mine was that this was fine ....but not in my class. Train with whom you like elsewhere.

Shortly after this he was asked to leave the dojo for an unrelated reason so I have no idea if he appreciated why I felt it necessary to speak to him or not.

I don't even think he understood that I was telling him not to come back.

Rather sad really.

D
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