Thanks for the suggestion on "Honest Practice. He makes some excellant points.
One other issue is presented by Anne's post. I have seen a tendency among male students, especially newer students to assume the role of "teacher" when training with a female student. Many times I have witnessed a male student with little experience or less experience than a female student actively instruct her on how the technique ought to be done. Usually incorrectly. They learn fairly quickly that this isn't acceptable behavior in the dojo. I was wondering if some of this type of behavior may have been present in Anne's situation?
Yes, I had that kind of experience with male students. Not very often and only at seminars. Just one story: our group was attending a seminar by our japanese sensei. He has a very special style, especially when it comes to jo and bokken techniques. So there are always lots of people on the mat with different aikido backgrounds. One evening we were practicing sankyo with jo. I knew the technique already, my male partner obviously didnīt. So I started to offer corrections which were accepted. Until he asked me how long I was doing aikido already. At this time, I had been training for one and a half years (8 hours/ week). He answered proudly that he had been training (with long breaks) for about three years. From this moment he tried to corect me and insisted on his movements even when they were obviously wrong and dangerous. There was nothing I could do about this so I was glad when the technique was over.
At our dojo, things like that normally donīt happen. We are a very harmonic group and good friends outside the dojo, too. Generally, there is nobody treating male or female students, especially kohei, different or without respect. I really love the atmosphere on the mat where everybody is there to learn, to help and to have fun.