Re: Yonkyo is unbearable
Here is a rather course but effective means to lessen their ability to attack.
When they put yonkyo on you; do an old time "wrestlers stretch." This is accomplished by imagining you are stretching through your own fingers straight out. It can be enhanced by dropping your elbow into their attacking elbow...sort of like laying your elbow onto theirs. Practice it until you can bring more of your center out from your body and more of your weight into their attacking arm. This is NOT what I do...but with practice those simple steps should help anyone with the type of pressures most will face.
There are far more sophisticated steps you can take- as well as some automatic things you can do- that they will be stumped to try and figure out, but you would need hands on to be walked through the process. Moreover, if you were to undertake IP/aiki training, the yonkyo of the most powerful shihan you have ever met would be all but meaningless and you would capture them for their effort.
These sorts of standing joint locks don't work on properly trained aiki adepts. Your body would just kill them at their point of inception. They also can't be used to capture your center either if you trained aiki,you would just stand there looking at them. You could stand there and offer them just "a little" in order to allow them to "get in a little practice" on you before you could take back control.
In any event I find it rather startling that your fellow aikido people haven't offered to show you how to negate their own attacks. What are they doing enjoying your distress? I show everyone how to do.....and then how to undo...everything, from the get go.