Hi Jen,
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Jennifer Smith wrote:
I am glad to hear you say this (all of it). I personally started Aikido to save my own life from the most destructive person to me; me. There is so much profile assumption about who and why people train in aikido.
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I started for similar reasons. I don't personally know anyone who makes assumptions about why other people train, do you?
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Jennifer Smith wrote:
I was so appalled at the recent lack of honor among men on this site (' no, you didn't ask if you could come to my dojo.'' No, you can't call me C_ark, I didn't give you permission.'). Embarrassing to say the least. I personally would not trust someone with those current attitudes to protect or represent my being.
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I am a bit puzzled by your comment here. It's not a good example of your points to my understanding. I'm familiar with those people and those posts and as such I doubt you have all the information to form a truly educated opinion about everything that took place.
I can say that not only do I trust the honor of the individuals involved, I have literally put my life and my baby daughter's life in their hands and will again soon. It's an experience like no other in the world, and I've felt some well known people.
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Jennifer Smith wrote:
I heard someone say in that forum they don't want to be treated like a child. Really?
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Depends on what you mean. I still have a great deal of respect for my father, but it was his disrespectful treatment of me that damaged lot of respect I held. His choices of actions with primary concern for himself and his rigid beliefs without the flexibility or allowance for those around him to be respectfully different did more of the same.
For 10 years I've born witness to the same in a lot of Aikido and discussions of Aikido.
The way that I treat my child is always measured by the fact that I am her parent and have a duty to educate and guide her in life. But it is tempered by the understanding that I have to also respect her integrity and guide her attempts to become an independent free thinking individual; albeit with respect for others. Her behavior dictates how I need to treat her, not my fantasy of what I want her to accomplish or become or what I wish her to believe.
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Jennifer Smith wrote:
When we're in our training we don't come up with this kind of s#*+. We turn it over to our practice and we get to be innocent children who respect their parents (aikido). We get the relief of having something greater than ourselves guide our actions and our speech (online or off).
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I want my training to be real and to cause me real problems. Not because I want to be 'effective', but because I don't believe that I accomplish anything otherwise except perhaps some fun exercise. If my buttons aren't getting pushed when I train, I am not forging myself, polishing, or otherwise enforcing change upon myself.
I don't respect aikido or consider it my guide. I have met too many people over the years of my training for whom 'aikido' does not mean the same thing that it means to me.
Instead I respect my partners and teachers, old and new, and allow them to shape me, help me to stand on their shoulders, and show me the path that they have walked. Then I walk my own path and respect that others may or may not follow in my exact footsteps.
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Jennifer Smith wrote:
But maybe I can learn to be a beautiful parent to my children through the model of Aiki therefore potentially saving them from harm or harming in the future. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But that's my fantasy. For now:
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I think good intentions are only a start and not enough. Harm is not just a physical thing. A lot of damage is done in the name of good intentions.
I think we need to understand the implications of all our actions and instead of just allowing things to happen to us, to choose the actions that will cause the least harm to the most people all the time.
To me that requires something quite different; it requires specific attention to how and what I'm training; hence my current practice.
Regards,