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Old 12-27-2007, 02:11 AM   #16
Josh Reyer
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Location: Aichi-ken, Nagoya-shi
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 644
Re: Etiquette and Ego

Jeff Sodeman wrote: View Post
On a related question. If you visit a dojo of a different organization that lines up by rank, would you find your place in their line based on your rank or would you sit at the far low end? I've tried both and not been happy with either. My preference would be to sit in the low end as I think they are different enough that the ranks don't really equate. But when I've tried that they kyu ranks get scandalized and try to nudge me down the line...

Maybe there's a "correct" answer but I'm more curious about opinions.
You'd rather we tell you how we feel in our gut, rather than what we know in our heads?

I think the situation is best summed up like this: I was reading a book on Japanese etiquette. For the section being a host, it said when entertaining a guest, have them sit in the kamiza, the seat of honor. For the section on being a guest, it said when visiting someone's house, sit in the shimoza, the lowest status seat, and never the kamiza. And that resulting tug-of-war is the etiquette. As a guest, you should sit at the far end. As the hosts, it is the kyu ranks' job to be scandalized and push up you up in the line. Everything is thus well socially-lubricated.

Cf. Picking up a check in Japan...

Josh Reyer

The lyf so short, the crafte so longe to lerne,
Th'assay so harde, so sharpe the conquerynge...
- Chaucer
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