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Old 03-02-2012, 10:55 AM   #89
mathewjgano's Avatar
Dojo: Tsubaki Kannagara Jinja Aikidojo; Himeji Shodokan Dojo
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Join Date: Feb 2005
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Re: How to be non-competitive in a competitive world

Graham Christian wrote: View Post
You say competive mind doesn't mean animosity. In that example given I don't say it means it but it is the cause of it. Without the competive mind there cannot be animosity.
You seem to have said it must cause animosity, I said it doesn't have to cause it. I said a competitive mind doesn't necessarily mean animosity is also present. You're saying it can cause animosity and that because of this, if we removed the competitive mindset, we could remove animosity, is this correct? I'm saying not all competition breeds animosity and so we only "need" to remove the parts that actually cause something negative.
We disagree about the nature of my mindset I described in work situations, but I maintain my mindset was competitive; I imagined the installation to be in a position of opposition. I defeated it. I won. I was a gracious winner and we remain friends to this day. Had I been defeated I would have had to own it, smile, and try something different...or get pissed off and then own it and try something different anyway. I still had a choice as to which one I fostered. I avoid animosity, so the competition I employ (i.e. applied compeititve mindset) tends to work out well for all involved. I compete with people up to a point. Sure past that point I'm trying to cooperate, but there is still competition involved. I am actively using a competitive mindset in these situations.
As with all things, when taken too far, they become unhealthy. In all things, balance.

If you controlled that mind and found that then you were not using animosity then that shows that you were not competing at that point.
This presumes a person must have animosity in order to have a competitive mindset. Of course I disagree with that idea. I've been competing in one form or another my whole life. I've actively developed a competitive mindset in conjunction with my non-compeitive mindset so I bounce back and forth between being competitive and not, quite easily. Yes, if all I did was act competitively, it would be problematic at best...I believe this is called Oppositional Defiant Disorder. However, since I apply balance to my natural competitive behaviors, it's never been suggested I should have less animosity...if anything I've usually been told I'm too much of a nice guy.

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