gates

Hi,
You suggest that one of the reasons that you started Aikido was to help with your social anxiety. This to me seems like a wonderful reason to start Aikido or any martial art for that matter.

It is difficult to realize the exact nature and intent of the attacker in your Jiu-waza. Isn't the 'seemingly' confrontational scenario you found yourself in facing exactly the social anxiety that led you to Aikido in the first place. And did you not overcome it?

However you do need to be clear about your boundaries, it would be a crying shame if you got put off, as it sounds you are just getting going.

You could talk to your sensei, "Sensei, I felt under a lot of pressure in the Randori the other day and felt a quite uncomfortable, to be honest I nearly didn't come to the next practice", and explain why you started Aikido in the first place. If the Sensei is worth his salt, he will keep an eye on you (without embarrassing you or making a big deal about it), I have heard only positive things about the manners of Yoshinkan Aikidoka, so would expect him/her to be responsible and look after you. The other thing is that if uke is coming too hard too fast, just slow down, right down, this sends a clear message, "I am just a modest beginner so please be kind to me". I assure you they will understand this message.

Learning to stay calm and perfectly relaxed in the face of the aggression is the key to being one beat ahead of your attacker, and the key to being able to read and neutralize a situation before it starts.

It is the 'real' reason I personally love Aikido as much as I do, and why it is so useful in everyday life. Other martial arts have powerful ways of dealing with aggression, but are over the top for most situations. Aikido is subtle and can be applied to all sorts of situations.

I personally have directly applied Aikido philosophy in work situations, to remain calm accepting a verbal assault from my former boss and then turning the situation upside down. The only way you can do this is if you remain calm but assertive (like the Dog Whisperer !!!).

If you do continue to have uncomfortable experiences, you could always look around at other dojo's. Watch a class first. But it sounds you are quite lucky where you are, so try to stick at it.

There are many paths to the top of mount fuji-yama and they all go up !!!