Ah, Master De Gucci. I know him, of course. I met his time ago, whe he was instructing me in Italy, since I am sure you know he is a renowed Italian 12th Don.

Actually it's him who put into my silly mind all those preposterous ideas about Aikido being barely usable against groups of folks randoring me with baseball bats.
But gee, he was persuasive!

Since then I have never been the same again, and I started entertaining excruciating doubts about the efficacy of my aikido.

Yet Matser De Gucci reassured me: "Doubt you not. Were you to doubt you not, Aikido yours much better it will be. Be formless and empty you yourself!"

He then said that if I want to reach the true Aikido, I must first pursue enlightenment, which they normally help guys attain by chasing them into dark alleys for excellent public randori demonstrations of their dojo's exquisitely and quintessentially pure Ki-style Aikido. Gratis!

I'm gonna see whether I can find a youtube video of their dojo, and of what they mean when they start their lessons reciting the honourable mantra: "the true Aikido is not the true Aikido. The true Aikido is nameless. Luke, use the Force, use the Force!" (I think he doesn't care whether the Dark Side of it or the bright one - or at any rate he mysteriously didn't mention anything on this momentous account)