If someone stops my movement, I am not good enough. What is wrong with that? Who's ego is more bruised by that comment? The purpose of everything we do is to move freely. Yet, look how much time we spend arguing over all the reasons that prevent us from moving freely.
I don't agree with anyone who makes a poor training decision, regardless of which role is affected. But, you can only move you. If your partner makes a movement that is disconnected from yours, you cannot be affected by that decision. If you are moving correctly, the outcome of the poor decision should be instantaneous and unrelated to you. If there is a "but" in your waza, and it's not attached to the top of your legs, then you need to be critical of your success. "I can throw you, but you didn't attack right...", "This would work, but you are resisting me...", "I can do this technique, but you didn't follow me..."
Everyday our training should make us more confident in the success of our movement, regardless of what our partner does. In the beginning, it is helpful to show your partner how her movement affects you. Later, it shouldn't matter. I can probably search Aikiweb and return a ga-jillion threads that talk about working with partners who have difficulty with ukemi. What do you think is going on with those partners? I tank my waza because they resist or can't fall, or can't hold on? How useless is that? No. I need to understand the success of my movement without relying on my partner so I can work out with anybody. If I train this way, all my partners have value.
Also, hey Robin!!