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Old 08-19-2012, 09:42 AM   #78
Gary David
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Location: Long Beach, CA
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 332
Re: Aikiweb as a "Big Tent"

Mary Malmros wrote: View Post
I'd add an asterisk to this, in that there's more than one kind of experience. This forum is also "actual interaction"; I don't think you can get away from that one. I don't think it's appropriate to try to discredit someone for being unwilling to pursue a face-to-face encounter with a person who has acted in a disparaging, abusive or arrogant manner in this forum. I'd call that instead making an intelligent decision.
I am thinking in the broader view...I have met folks over the years and have avoid them off a single encounter only to go back later an find out I had missed somethings. I trained with a guy years ago that I found, in my mind, to be an a__.......I avoided him off of one or two encounters. 20 years later watching him teach and see what he was passing along I could see that it filled in some holes. I talked with him and let him know what I had been thinking years ago and what I though now that I had missed. This has happened with me several times over my lifetime.

I understand the reluctance when someone is offering you something you see wrapped in a bitter package like 'you don't have it' or 'you suck'.........One way to react is to get angry, consider all of this as disparaging, abusive or coming from arrogance with no basis, walk away or fight back.

Sometimes one needs to look in the mirror and ask..."could there be any truth in this?" and check it out. I have more than once walked into a room to 'check it out" and never gotten by the watching part before leaving....and as often stayed to participate. One will never know unless one makes the effort to find out.

In the end though...I don't think any of this is about abusive, disparaging and arrogant behavior by a few is more basic than that.....

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