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Old 07-10-2003, 11:22 PM   #1
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Unhappy Anger Management

Recently, I had an altercation with one of my flatmates. It never fell to blows, and overall it was over a petty thing. But some of the reactions I had have made me a little unhappy about myself.

My flatmate started into me trying to establish that I was in the wrong and that he was trying to protect the other flatmates from my petty wants. I tried talking to him to find out what the problem was and where he was going with it. Then I explained my point of view and the fact that I had discussed it with a few of my other flatmates previously (and they had agreed with me).

We've resolved the issue, somewhat -- I'm sure with his personality that he'll try and confront me again and try to establish dominance. What concerned me the most was not that we had the confrontation, or the fact that he was close to physically assaulting me. (All my flatmates will be moving out in a month and so that is not the real issue.) I'm fairly glad of how I did deal with it, rationally and logically. I'm concerned about how my body and mind reacted.

During the whole mess, my body was going through the "fight-or-flight" syndrome. I was shaking uncontrollably (holding on to a chair was the only thing hiding this fact), and in all honesty wanted to run away. (I didn't and I'm glad that I was able to do that.) But my concern was that maybe I wasn't centered (even now I'm shaking a little bit). After the event, I went and tried to do a little meditation. That helped a little, restored some peace and tranquility. But I'm still concerned about it.

I've never handled confrontation well. On the mat, I'm fine even in jiyuwaza or randori. But this upset me very much and I'm wondering what you think on it. If any of you have any advice on how I can handle this, I would appreciate it. How do I get to the point where I don't shake and want to run from a confrontation?

Please help! Thanks!
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