Yo, Punky, It could be that you haven't met your devil's advocate, or in other words someone better at it, but that's another topic. Regarding this new kind of politeness you've discovered, it is the original. Take a cue from Ol' Saint Nick, and be good for goodness sake. An individual human being, considered outside the ken of all they've done right and wrong, deserves respect for their humanity. The weight of their record, either + or - , may shift the magnitude of that respect, but can never fully eradicate it. The phrase "I have no respect for that man." can be true, but I must have respect for the humanity presented in that man. He's only human. Maybe this is some aspect of that "moral weight" you were feeling?

For me, I try to meet all people with the above described rule of basic respectability of human life. It could be enlightened self-interest, or as I like to say, altruism is the most highly evolved form of greed. This is not to say that I love everybody, but before I get carried away by my disdain for their behavior / culture, I cut them the slack they're due.

Regarding mat time. I haven't your gumby flexibility, and if my elbows could go passed 180°, I would never let them in the dojo. It would only make the task of breaking said elbow that much easier. These two ascii figures depicting elbows, / \ and \ / start in this position, and can only bend downward. which one would you try to break first above them?

I'm not proposing that you are genuinely in greater danger for having higher flexibility, because in general I'd bet you aren't. But, your flexibility may allow you as uke to inhabit locations, postures, and movements that endanger you before a more malevolent nage. I have recently discovered a technique that if my weight wasn't fully moved as intended by nage, it left me fully open to their front. Once, upon not moving to protect myself (an aspect of correct ukemi?), nage happily kicked me three times, in three different places between my legs. Thankfully they were all warning shots across the, ahem, bow. All I'm suggesting is don't let your flexibility endanger you, and one extra comment, you don't need pain to tap. If you can't get up, tap.

Enjoy your new manners, I know I will when I meet you!