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Old 03-01-2005, 05:15 PM   #5
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Dojo: Senshin Center
Location: Dojo Address: 193 Turnpike Rd. Santa Barbara, CA.
Join Date: Feb 2002
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Re: Dealing with a foul training partner

I think this is an issue for the instructor - part of keeping the dojo a healthy/open/welcoming/nurturing environment for all members and it is also part of instilling the lessons of self-awareness and self-responsibility through the following of dojo etiquette.

In my opinion, an instructor should have enough hands-on with their members so that he/she is one of the first to know when someone is violating the dojo's protocols on personal hygiene. However, if for whatever reason that is not possible, an instructor should be very open and grateful for any other member coming to them with such issues in etiquette breech. Therefore, you should feel very comfortable in approaching your instructor with such information, and if you are an instructor, you should feel very comfortable with receiving such information. After the information gets to the instructor, it is really just a mechanical issue -- a simple issue of cause and effect. The instructor approaches the member in question and says in a very matter-of-fact manner (something akin to), "Please follow dojo etiquette more closely by cultivating more self-responsibility and self-awareness to your body odor. Please consider your presence in light of the presence of every other member -- this is very much at the heart of the social application of Aikido. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to talk to me now, or you can talk to me later when you would like."

If the person shows up again in violation of the request, an instructor should just kindly ask them to leave the mat until they can figure it out and/or until they are ready to talk about some sort of extenuating circumstances they would like the instructor to consider. An instructor can also offer assistance in the form of good information. Believe it or not, some folks were so incompletely raised by their own parents that they are not sure how to stop stinking and/or what is out there to help them stop stinking. When things are handled in very cut and dry manners, feelings tend not to become so scorched -- because they just do not need to be. The dojo asking something of someone -- they either comply or they do not. If they do not comply, then they can go and do whatever they want some other place. This is the unsaid social contract at the heart of all the other tenets of dojo etiquette. This one should not be treated any differently.

My opinion, but also the exact way that we handle things at our dojo.

dmv

David M. Valadez
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