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Old 03-19-2008, 12:18 PM   #85
Location: Massachusetts
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,192
Re: Very Disturbing news about Clint George

William Hazen wrote: View Post
Forgiveness in the beginning can be a very selfish act...In my case did I wish to carry the rage, anger, and shame around with me forever and have it color my relationships and my life... Or could I let it go and move on to the Dharma....
I think it's a matter of terminology, and what you mean by "forgiveness". I stand by what I said earlier, that I think forgiveness (as I define it) is not something that one can do unilaterally -- it requires something from the offender. What I failed to add, though, was that there are other things you can do unilaterally that do not meet my definition of forgiveness, but that do allow you to let a past hurt go. It's the distinction between things being made right between you and your offender, and you reconciling with yourself (and maybe making things right between yourself and...the universe?) while still recognizing that an offense happened and the offender hasn't done the right thing about it.
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