Marc Abrams

All of this soft warm fuzzy stuff sounds nice. Imagine this:

You are being attacked by a person. If you do not survive this attack, your children will not have a parent around and your spouse will be mourning the loss of a partner. Where should that compassion be applied? To the attacker or to yourself in order to be there for your family and friends?

Aikido should open us to becoming more sensitized to our surroundings. Situational awareness is a critical survival skill. Being soft is not a sign of kindness, but is a response set this is effective and efficient. Redirecting energy requires that we are soft, sensitized, and centered. Harmonizing with the attacker does not mean that you love your attacker. If it does, I guess that means that you love being hurt and/or killed.

By redirecting the attacker's force, that attacker may very well ended with a serious injury or even be killed. The application of the Aikido should have meant that the person did not intentionally inflict anything other than was absolutely necessary in that situation. If the attacker ends up on the ground would you simply let that attacker up for round two because of some belief that this person experienced your compassion? What a wonderful eulogy that would be.

It is a wonderful idea to be a kind, empathic person in order to make the small world that you live in better. Nobody would disagree with the idea that it is better to love than to hate. Aikido can add a lot to our sensitivity as people to the world in which we live in. If it becomes some insane philosophy that does not fit within the reality parameters of a real attack, then your philosophy will end along with your life.

I am a psychologist and that part of my life is centered around making a meaningful difference in the world through helping. I do not mistake that aspect of who I am with the reality demands of handling an attack. I started training in Aikido to learn how to not add to the violence of an attack (based upon my previous training in marital arts and fighting sports). That did not include loving my attacker! Personally, I love myself, my family and my friends. I have been fortunate enough to have been able to both avoid and handle situations in a manner far different than what I had learned previous to my Aikido training. People in those situations were not significantly injured, whereas previous response sets would have had very different outcomes.

My heart is open to making my world a better and more loving place. I do that through act and deed. I also have the sensibility and open heart enough to those who matter most to me so that what I practice and what I teach others fits within the realms of reality and not some delusional thinking that ends up getting the good guy/gal hurt or killed. It is a great thing to have and be able to utilize the capacity to have a loving and open heart in the appropriate setting. Our added sensitivity should help us better understand the settings and situations, so that are responses are appropriate and do not reflect our fear and propensity to act violently. Misreading the situation based upon some unrealistic philosophy is not be a reasonable position and is not safe.

just my 2 cents

Marc Abrams