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Old 11-16-2011, 12:38 PM   #34
John A Butz
Dojo: Itten Dojo, Enola PA
Location: Carlisle PA
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 45
Re: The Truth about Violence

Roger Flatley wrote: View Post
If you are being victimized in a domestic violence situation, then the reason this is occuring is not because you are bad at self-defense. It's because you have allowed yourself to continue to be in the war path of an abuser. Step off the path, and the abuser will pass right by you.
I am going to dispute this. In many situations, the abuser will not pass by - they will continue to pursue you and possibly continue to do you harm or even kill you.

In still other situations, how is the abused to get away if they are, for example, a minor child. Or if they are responsible for a mninor child living in an abusive home.

The legal system repeatedly fails to help and protect the victims of domestic abuse. Many a restraining order ends up with the murder of the person who requested the order.

I am not implying that you are saying any of these issues are easy, Mr. Flatley, but rather saying that I think you would be well served to gather a little additional information as to the physcology, methods, and mindset of abusers, so that you can have some context for your beliefs and statements. I think you presume quite a lot about how easy, obvious, and evident these things are, as I once did. I reference myself because I too used to think similarly to your stated position, and it was only after perusing the literature, study, and a good hard look at my own experiences that i could see I had been incorrect in my assumptions.

I believe that as people with power, the power gained through the study of martial arts and ways, we have an obligation to look at how to apply that power. We can not, for example, fight others physical battles for them. Nor can we apply the physcial techniques of our art to the problem. We can't be there for every single violent encounter, and even ending a violent encounter conclusivly will not neccessarily change things.

Instead, we need to really understand the way these things work, how we as a society and a people deal with and create violence, so that we can remove the myths and lies and false conclusions that are incredibly prevelant in this area of life and see the real truth of things. Once we have an understanding of these aspects of violence (and I am by no means saying there is a single corrrect way of doing this) we can determine what effective actions can be taken to stop the continual spread of these things.

As an example, let me refer to the recent scandal at Penn State, involving the alleged abuse of children. The accused resides very near an elementary school, and there has been a lot of media attention paid to that fact, that this man is a molester and the students should be careful. And yet, the victims were not people pulled off the street or choosen at random. Instead, they were groomed carefully and slowly and then, once they were sufficently conditioned, they were abused, presuming allegations are true. So, it is not only the steroetypical "stranger in a van who offers you candy" that we should be arming our children against. We should also be teaching them how to recognize and respond to grooming behavior. And yet, instead, the image continues to be perpetuated by instituitons like this elementary school that the molester will just come along and molest your child.

Now, please note, I am not saying that that sort of thing doesn't happpen - it surely does. But rather I am saying that until we can, as a society, recognize that we put a lot of blinders and preconceptions on when we discuss these issues, we will never be able to really understand violence. We have to stop hiding behind what we think we know and look at what things really are.
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