Quote:
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Originally posted by George S. Ledyard
Many times I have been frustrated. Many times I have questioned what I was doing and why. I have gone years at a time in which I wasn't sure anything was happening in my training only to have a sudden explosion and a quantum sudden jump in my level.
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Amen!
I don't know if I've accomplished anything as exalted as the SHOSHIN folk so sanctimoniously intone we should adopt, but I don't suffer that spontaneous resentment anymore when stopped by a white belt. I'm annoyed, but with my attitude, not them; with the complacency I suddenly realize I've fallen into in thinking the I "have" this or that technique down.
You know that queasy feeling you get when you come up unexpectedly on a mirror in a department store and you see that without the usual prep and primping you don't look like Brad Pitt after all? I'm always finding that with my aikido. Train with a beginner, he doesn't know "how to lose" and my technique doesn't work. Train with a stranger, doesn't work. Change techniques from what the teacher showed and UKE expects, doesn't work. And then seemingly for no good reason, things suddenly--SUDDENLY--work and you're hitting the sweet spot every time.
I've come to be suspicious of when things are working: Doesn't my UKE trust me enough to resist?
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But I digress and Jun's going to transfer my post to a different thread ('
).
I certainly see the wisdom in George's response, but I want to know more about Mr. Brown's situation than he told us. In my own case, I've had my own high motivation deadened by poor teachers or a poor atmosphere for learning. Mr. Brown, WHY do you feel the way you do?