Re: consumed by the opponent
My personal philosophy is that only people I care about (and respect) have enough power over me to hurt me psychologically/emotionally through their words or actions. It also means that I expect more from the people I care about because I think enough of them to put effort into a relationship.
I find that this makes it easier for me to avoid being consumed by the actions/words of those outside the "I care for them" group as well as to try and make amends and rebuild relationships if something goes amiss with someone within that group.
--Michael
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