ha ha ha...
i too follow the path to the dark minions of the underworld...
um, re: not finding wisdom in other people's words... i think its something to
do with what you do with the words as opposed to just blindly taking them at face value.
i don't think any one thing will lead you to enlightenment if you don't let it. so you can plod along or speed along in aikido but never really get anywhere.