Anyway, I will bring this issue up with my teacher, as I have never talked about it candidly.
Hello Mr Suter,
You should do so. I had the benefit of long sessions with some of my own teachers and these discussions are something I will treasure just as much as the training.
The impression I have from some posts in this forum is that very few Aikiweb members have heart-to-heart sessions about their training with their Sensei. 'Sensei' is often put on a pedestal, because of superior technical ability, and this superior ability is sometimes extended to everything else in human experience. So 'Sensei' becomes a life guru. I saw this very clearly when I trained in the New England Aikikai in the early 1970s. At the time, I had great sympathy for the late Kanai Mitsunari Shihan, because he was sometimes put into a position he could not possibly fulfill--and this had to do with the reasons why some of his students trained. They wanted to grasp the essence of aikido, if possible by the first practice--and this understanding had to deepen with each successive practice, or else something was seriously amiss.
I am very happy that in my own dojos here in Hiroshima, my students (all Japanese, with ages varying from about 8 to 70) do not come to practice aikido because they want to understand the essence of training or to become better people: as far as I can see, they are very good already. They come for repeated practice of exercises and waza
and are very happy when they can do these to my satisfaction. And that is it: they do not have--or they never talk about--their ulterior motives for doing this: and I would never ask them.