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Old 12-31-2008, 12:49 PM   #82
Ellis Amdur
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Location: Seattle
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 904
Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution

Actually, I do not really have a sense of what Buck is getting at - but that's fine.
Keith - I think the "would" and the "should" may be the same in the example you gave. And to those who might say, "how will that end the 'cycle' of violence?' a) I don't see moral equivalency here b) I don't think we ever will. Bad things and bad people must be stopped - and I am well aware that there are many times we don't know who is bad and how best to stop them.

And, also germane to the subject, I have published a series of three books on the de-escalation of mentally ill and emotionally disturbed individuals. There are two versions - one for families who live with such folk and the other for social services professionals, although most all of it is applicable to anyone. You cannot always stop those who are trying to hurt you without force, but here is the best information I know of how to do so.
Titles are:
1. Lifelines in the Dark: Communication Strategies for Reaching the Person Behind the Symptoms
2. Centering: Standing with Strength and Grace in Crisis Situations
3. In the Eye of the Hurricane: Calming and De-escalation of Aggressive Individuals

(NOTE: The professional version of this last is about triple the size and will go by another name - Grace Under Fire. It comes out in January

They even have a few anecdotes.

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