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Old 12-31-2009, 01:19 PM   #32
tarik's Avatar
Dojo: Iwae Dojo
Location: Boulder Creek, CA
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 567
Re: Student Intake Questionnaire

Antonia Williams wrote: View Post
There are other perspectives. I whole heartedly disagree with yours.
And that's why they make chocolate and vanilla.

Antonia Williams wrote: View Post
I am happy that I am not the one who has to decide who Aikido, or any Martial Art is for.
I think you misunderstand me. I don't decide that at all. That's their decision. I decide who I am willing to put a personal investment in. Moreover, I decide that WITH the potential student, not despite them. And some of them have decided it for me. In fact, that is more often the way it works out.

If I think it's more appropriate for what they want out of their training, I will happily recommend my old dojo to them and will probably train with them in that environment from time to time (I don't visit often any more).

Antonia Williams wrote: View Post
I wish you the best with your training. I hope you will grow and your perspectives open up, to understand the limitations, negative impact and generally destructive results behaviours like what you, endorse promote.
Do you realize how condescending and presumptive your assumptions about the effects of my actions are? You don't have any idea about how negative or destructive my perspectives are, I assure you.

In any case, I am not offended or affected by your opinion, I'm just offering the perspective that while something like a questionnaire or other selective process can certainly be carried into a destructive or a negative level, they can also be valuable tools for a group of people who DO know exactly what they are trying to get out of their training.

You are not only welcome to believe and follow your path, I encourage it.

Maarten De Queecker wrote: View Post
So basically, you see yourself as a master in the art?
Not remotely. If I wasn't clear about that, let this be the clarifying statement.

Maarten De Queecker wrote: View Post
It sure looks like it, seeing as how you decide who can join class and who can't. You even make them waste six hours of their life watching you guys have fun.
It's my dojo. Hell, it's in my home. It's my life and my families life. It's my liability, my time, and my students time. I reserve to right to be as picky as I need to be to protect all of that. If you see that as a waste of your time, I submit that you have no respect for me already. If you can't respect that, why should I waste MY time?

FWIW, I seldom (almost never) have had to decide that someone cannot join class. The requirement is to watch pretty much self-selects people for me. People who have watched have thanked me because once they watched, they realized that they were not interested. Others, whom I was sure would not be interested, have surprised me by telling me they wanted to enroll.

Maarten De Queecker wrote: View Post
If I were to look for a new place to train and the instructor would say to me "why don't you watch for a couple of lessons so I can see if you meet the requirements to be my disciple" I would leave immediately. Such a person can teach me nothing since he is too stuck up with his own ego.
Well, I've never said that to anyone nor did I say it above. I tell people who are interested, "Come and watch some classes and then let's discuss whether this training is for you or not". I'm willing to make the watching period as long as it needs to be. 20 minutes or 20 years is fine with me.

Maarten De Queecker wrote: View Post
Yes, you are arrogant.

You and your disciples don't enjoy guests? What kind of stuck up people are you? So if someone shows interest in aikido and comes visit your dojo you guys look down on him instead of welcoming him? Way to go!
I don't have any disciples (your word, not mine). I have fellow students. They are my students simply because I know a bit more than they do, but we are students together.

We welcome guests whenever they choose to visit, and we don't look down upon them at all. However, when someone visits, if I don't know what their training is like, I won't let them train with my students until I have some idea of how they train. If that's offensive, well, they don't have to visit.

Maarten De Queecker wrote: View Post
People like you are the people I loathe. Stuck up, arrogant, deluded idiots.

And no, I'm not in the least bit sorry if I insulted you. My respect for you is zero.
I'm not insulted. But I will say that you look a bit foolish and over-reactive, from my perspective. You just don't understand where I'm coming from or what I'm doing. That's ok.

Piyush Kumar wrote: View Post
If i may,
Knowledge is priceless. One cannot put a price on it. And it depends on the teacher whether they want to spend their time imparting those teachings to everyone or those who they deem suitable enough. The bottomline is even if we spread this to everyone, there will only be very few people who are at a certain stage in life who would be receptive to it. I have tried it . To let people know from my own limited wisdom of what they might look at. But one does not get it and i feel as if i let them down and let myself down. It takes a tremendous amount of patience to get past that point or perhaps i am getting something wrong right now.
P.S Like the point i just tried to make, some of you would get it, some of you would not, that is just another illustration of this
I get it. I would not use the word suitable, but I agree with your comment. Some people are ready, some are capable, some are not. It's that simple. It's not a judgment about who they are as a human being, it's a judgment about their readiness or ability to join with you in the kind of training you are engaged in.

I have a LOT of aikido friends whom I don't train with any more. Not because they aren't welcome, or because I dislike them, or because I think they are not worthy. It's their choice as much as it's mine because we want different things out of our training and so we have taken different paths. We still like one another and like laying hands on one another once in a while.

We each might think that the other is right or wrong, but we each understand that the others focus is deliberately different, even if we don't always understand why. I fail to understand why some people have no respect for that, but that's not really my problem, is it?


Tarik Ghbeish
Jiyūshin-ryū AikiBudō - Iwae Dojo

MASAKATSU AGATSU -- "The true victory of self-mastery."
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