I get frustrated because, I've always been pretty successful at any other physical activity I've partaken in, whether that is football, boxing, etc. I've always been ahead of the pack.
Welcome in the land of nonsense training.
The schools you come from are so vastly superior to the training paradigm that is the most popular in Aikido dojos, that you are going to run a significant risk of never truly coming to terms with this type of training. They will never give to you what you want: reality and impact. And yet you will be fascinated by the idea of matching the beauty of aikido with impact and violence, and you will look for a dojo that does that, and yet you will never find it...