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Old 10-15-2002, 10:23 PM   #29
Dojo: Sand Drift Aikikai, Cocoa Florida
Location: Melbourne, Florida
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 824
Opher, becareful, I just read you agreed with me.


Kevin, I've lived in Florida my whole life, born and raised in Melbourne, Florida. ooopps.. I mean Melboring. I know what a culturally barren city is like. I've been there, too. Sounds like you're dealing with some culture shock. Though in recent years, Melbourne's getting better with all the transplants from out of state. Jacksonville really is just a big redneck town. I hear you.

Well, now that you have described this student your talking about, I think I sympathize with you a little more. Have you tried to talk to her and just get to know her in general? Maybe, once you get to know her you can drop a hint or two that she needs to "get with the program" (especially if your sensei has said something to her). I'm also assuming that you are more senior to her.

I've worked out with one person who acted like that. We would be training in basics like tenkan exercise (irimi and tenchin). He would just act bored and tired. Like is was way too much effort for him. He wasn't really, he was perfectly in shape. He was completely unresponsive to anything said to him. It turned that he just wanted to learn "killer self-defense" techniques. He couldn't see the forest for the trees. He didn't see that the whole point to the basics is to develop a foundation to do "effective" techniques. He acted pretty badly. He showed no respect to his instructors. Needless to say he didn't last long. He stopped because he actually had to learn aikido and because he wasn't just taking a "self-defense" course. I thought he would understand because his father has been studing aikido for over 30 years in Japan. Guess not.

Yeah, it's frustrating, but there are ways to deal with it. Try telling her in a joking way that you would like to train rather than stand around and watch her fix her gi. Or use classic assertiveness training terms such as "When you do that I feel like you don't care to train in aikido with me." OR, Perhaps sit down after one technique and make her wait for you to get up. Mocking her isn't very "Aiki", but it might convey you're point. Or, Poke her and prod her with "come on" or "let's get going, I'm not even sweating." I do this in the children's class when the wee one's can't focus well. Treat her like a "wee one". Know what I mean? Use a sense of humor with it all. If you done all this. Then just ignore it, and try to avoid her as much as possible and use her for a break.

So yes, I understand. The best thing to do is ignore these people. But, let it go and focus on your training. I really just think you're giving this too much energy than needed. As a result, this little person is affecting your training.

I'm glad you found a place to train in Jax, though. If you ever come down to Ft. Lauderdale for a trip or vacation, you are more than welcome to join us for a class or two. Visitors are very welcome at our dojo.

Last edited by giriasis : 10-15-2002 at 10:28 PM.

Anne Marie Giri
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