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Old 01-31-2012, 12:00 PM   #11
Marc Abrams
Dojo: Aikido Arts of Shin Budo Kai/ Bedford Hills, New York
Location: New York
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,302
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Re: On Civility, Political Correctness, Honesty, and Frankness

Quote:
Jun Akiyama wrote: View Post
Hi Marc,

Thank you for your thoughts.

I agree that there may be people out there who, no matter how one writes, may feel umbrage towards what was written. And, I agree that articulating one's points clearly and honestly is an important part of discussion and discourse.

However, I very much disagree that couching one's thoughts with, as I wrote, consciousness, consideration, and sincere respect for the opinions of others will force one to be passive-aggressive. Direct, honest communication can certainly take place with consideration -- I have no doubt about that.

I appreciate your anecdote about your encounter at the camp-ground. To me, the story shows that if one listens with an open mind without judgment nor a sense of retaliation, one can receive even the most prejudiced words and work through them. That's admirable. I wish everyone were able to do so. Unfortunately, I don't think that's the case (that everyone can listen (read) so patiently), especially on a limited medium such as an Internet discussion forum such as this one. Hence, I very much believe and am requesting here that people moderate their frank and honest rhetoric with civility, respect, and consideration.

Best,

-- Jun
Jun:

I am not disagreeing with the notions of consciousness, consideration and sincere respect for others being taken into account. The problem that deal with on a daily basis (maybe that is because I have to deal with matrimonial attorneys every day) is that most couching of words is done to significantly distort the message which simply makes it difficult to have a straight-forward discussion or even argument for that matter. This leads to a back and forth encounter, filled with increasing degrees of venom. Sometimes, a good reflection back of what somebody is putting forth and them calling them to task to be more forthright is very helpful. Some see that as retaliation. I see that as receiving back what you put out. Goes with the saying of "don't put in out there unless you are willing to handle it back on your end."

I think that you know that I do have a lot of respect for what you have created here and I really do try to behave .

Cordially,

Marc Abrams
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