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Old 03-19-2008, 11:51 AM   #84
Keith Larman
Dojo: AIA, Los Angeles, CA
Location: California
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,604
Re: Forgiveness

Fred Little wrote: View Post
Sometimes, compassion is gentle. At other times, genuine compassion looks like this:

Knowing which face to show on any particular occasion is wisdom. Doing so is skillful means.
It's interesting you posted that as I was reading all these posts about compassion thinking to myself about the expression oft heard in Aikido of Fudoshin, Fudotai. Immovable mind immovable body. To me it brings up associations with Fudo Myoo. And all of this includes the idea of resisting temptation along with balancing compassion for the world with an unyielding and clear view of truth. Too often in our fluffy passive aggressive touchy-feely approach to these arts we tend to forget about the inexorable truths. We talk about motivations, feelings, etc. and pretty soon we've obscured the underlying truth of a child being victimized.

Idiot compassion is a very good phrase indeed IMHO.

Talk of the age of consent is interesting at all, but we're not talking about a 17-year-old. Or a 16-year-old. Thirteen. With an adult in a position of authority. A teacher, a husband and a parent. Sorry, I'm not going to be understanding on that one. No way, no how.

I pray the story is false for everyone's sake including Mr. George's. But if it turns out to be true, well, I have no compassion whatsoever for him. None at all.

Consenting adults? Sure, bang away folks. Going back to one of Ellis' posts I think it may under many circumstances be unwise to embark on a dojo romance as the repurcussions of a soured one can be pretty severe. "Unwise" is the key word there. We all do unwise things periodically. Sometimes they work out, sometimes they blow up in our faces. However, grown ups can make those choices for themselves. And they should be free to do so. And they can live with the consequences because they're adults. Fine. I have no problem with that, I'd just counsel being very careful if you do. Consenting adults.

But kids are off-limits. We can debate when someone has the maturity to give informed consent. But at the age of thirteen? And sexual behavior? Nope. I'll be understanding of two thirteen-year-old hormone addled adolescents getting into it. I'll show compassion there as I try to convince them to hold off or at least be safe. I'll shake my head at the early loss of innocence. But a mature adult with a thirteen year old under their tutelage?

That deserves nothing but disdain.

Forgiveness is for the victim to give if they see fit to give it. Society, however, should not and I would argue cannot forgive that sort of behavior. And I'll reserve my compassion for wide swath of victims episodes like this create. The victim herself, her family, his family, their friends, and so on. That's where compassion needs to be focused.

I hope to God it turns out to be false.

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