I'm mortified to share this
, but as it was witnessed by a hundred or so people, and probably preserved for all time on a professional-quality video, I might as well. And it really does belong here.
So anyway... I was at a big seminar recently. One of the shihan (you all know him) was teaching. Everyone seated in seiza in a kind of rough semi-circle around him. At some point I noticed that I was sort of inside the middle area of the circle instead of around the edge. Just as he was making some deep and thoughtful point about connection, or world peace, or something equally important and significant, and a total and reverent silence had enveloped the large dojo, I tried to quietly slide back a couple of feet.
And farted.
And not in a subtle sort of way, either.
It's a lucky thing for me that no one so much as snickered or coughed, because I think I would have (in spite of my utter humiliation) died laughing at the absurdity of my bad timing.
I think I'll go crawl under a rock now...