In the application of Libido .... where are your lines for morality drawn?
How much does your body's urges control you, and how much do you want to control those urges or satisfy them?
It sure don't happen before you hit your 30s, at least in my experience. The constant urge to reproduce and carry on the species is so strong that emotions usually win out over logic or clear thought, but urges and emotions don't have to win.
What is it gonna take?
It is gonna take time and experience to get control of that libido. Just like trainig a wild animal, those emotions and urges will never truly be tamed or under control, but they will follow the dictates of your morality because it is easier to follow these moral paths than to resist.
I don't know when it will happen for you, I am just turning 50 and I am just getting a whole of the this concept to the point I can describe how it works.
You go to practice Aikido because there are things you need to learn in the area of martial arts, and aikido can teach you some of those points. Get caught up in the libido, well, you might as well just give up cause you are wasteing your time, on learning to focus, and the physical practice can be invalidated by anyone with focus.
Unless you can refocus and use that libido as an energy source, the signals you might need to visualize when practice becomes necessity will be all wrong.
Gee .... I need to get aroused to fight to my full potential .... this person really turns me off ... I think I had better run for my life screaming for mercy?
Training is an attempt to control and focus the rage of battle into energy that does not cloud the mind, or inhibit the body. The same state of mind you would be in for the fight of your life is what you are trying to achieve with practice, but to be in control of your mind and body, not in a mindless brute rage.
Libido? Well, giving in to libido with my wife is a whole lot of fun, but it certainly gets in the way for training. There is a time and place for everything. You certainly would like to treat people the way you would like to be treated, and hopefully that is a good thing, not some dark twisted dream world.
Turn that libido into something positive,even though it will take time and experience to do that ... give it time, let the process create the separation of training and love life, because the emotional ties of bringing the two together are a killer.
Everyone is seaching for someone, to find a soulmate, don't let that instinctual urge overwhelm you. Instead, take two steps back, do the right thing, and see where it goes. Just let practice happen because it is practice, and realize that one day, the protocols you set in your mind for your moral character will get enough control that your practice will be ten times more inciteful than it is today.
Why? Not because you have learned to control libido, but because the emotional catalysts that increase the reactions of instinctual libido will be controled by morality, proper visualizaton of mind to body, and time has satisfied most of those lustful thoughts in such a manner, that you know your limits, and practice is no longer withing the libido forum.
At least not it will be under control ... more or less.
Give it time. Put things into perspective. It will work out.
Why do you think old guys have such good transition skills? Libido is where it is supposed to be .... and it ain't on the dojo practice mat.