Thread: Patience
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Old 09-22-2009, 05:06 PM   #6
Mark Freeman
Dojo: Dartington
Location: Devon
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,220
United Kingdom
Re: Patience

Excellent article Lynn, thanks.

I'd like to briefly relate a young man's 'Kwatz' moment. He was participating in some group work that I was doing a while back. When he arrived on the first day, he was barely able to communicate with the group, he was bound up in anxiety, low confidence and self esteem.
After years of bouncing around mental health agencies, with little progress and no meaningful work to do, he had a dim view of his future prospects. During the afternoon of the first day, I was talking about anxiety using words similar to those you wrote above. More exactly, I rattled out a phrase that must have been the 'kwatz' moment for him I said "anxiety is just us hallucinating future failure and experiencing it today" He asked me to repeat the phrase, which I did, I noticed him sit back and shake his head. He didn't say much for the rest of the day, but when he left I heard him repeating it to himself as he walked out.
He returned the following day and to my and the rest of the groups surprise, he started to engage with us all in a way that we hadn't seen on day one. He made excellent progress from then on and with help from others that I work with, we managed to get him work, which as far as I am aware he is still in today. His mum came in after day two and asked "What have you done to my son? I haven't seen him like this for years, I've got my son back, thank you" I did tell her that it wasn't me, the credit wasn't mine, it was his, he just had a moment of deep insight triggered by a phrase.
My guess is that in that moment he realised that the control of his situation was his to exercise, which in turn transformed his view of himself.

We must pay attention to the present, we never know quite when the priceless gold nugget will pass in front of us in the stream. If we have our eyes fixed upstream for what is coming, we may miss the true gems right here right now



Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have.
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