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Old 03-07-2013, 08:16 PM   #16
OwlMatt's Avatar
Dojo: Milwaukee Aikikai
Location: Wisconsin
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 401
Re: The Great Non-Issue

Jon Reading wrote: View Post

You (personally) have a right to respond in any fashion to people who have expressed their opinions about sexuality, including dismissing their concerns or ignoring them. Rhetorically, I do not believe that tactic will convince anyone to change their position on the subject. I have chosen to engage the same demographic with the intention of changing their position and working towards the comfort of all, this is what I mean by empathy.
I guess I don't see it as my or anyone else's responsibility to change the minds of ignorant people. There is truth that is plain to see; some people will see it sooner and others will see it later, but in the end, there's no denying it.

Second, I am married to a woman whom I met while training. And I pursued her outside of the dojo and developed a romantic relationship that was mutually received outside of our training. And it was difficult to limit the sexual interaction on the mat and more difficult to suppress my jealously when she was advanced upon by others during training. It made training more difficult.

I understand your suggestion, but I do not believe anyone should have to tolerate unwanted sexual advances from anyone. It is not appropriate for a man to advance upon a woman who does not want the attention and it is not appropriate for a man to advance upon a man who does not want the attention and it is not appropriate for a woman to advance upon a woman who does not want the attention. Sexual harassment includes unwanted advances, Here is a quote from the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC):

I do not support any argumentation structure that validates bad behavior because someone else endured the behavior. Twice now you have said that men should tolerate unwanted sexual advances because women have had to. Again, I think if you are interested in changing behavior, justifying discomfort is not the honey with which you will catch flies...
I repeat, I'm not talking about sexual harassment. Sexual harassment has no place in the dojo or anywhere else in human society. I'm talking about men who are afraid to associate with homosexuals because they fear they might get asked out.

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