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Old 08-01-2007, 05:45 AM   #32
Michael Varin
Dojo: Aikido of Fresno
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 567
Re: Need some advice.

Kevin Wilbanks wrote:
I think you are getting a little carried away. It sounds highly doubtful to me, based on the description of the incident, that reporting it to the police is going to result in all this. First of all, where is the evidence? It will just be one party's word vs. another. Second, is this really the kind of sexual assault that gets someone thrown in maximum security prison? A forced "french kiss" on a consensual outing, followed by an apology and a ride home?

Thanks for injecting some sanity into this thread.


Using the word "predator" seven times in a relatively small post! Have we been watching too much MSNBC lately?

And your calls for prison-style justice are, quite frankly, disturbing. This is fear based and in the long run improves nothing. Don't forget the lesson of aikido. Hint: it has something to do with Love.

I want to be clear. I have no respect for an individual who conducts himself like the man who made unwelcome advances on AnonAikidoka.

We don't know what his intentions were, we don't know his perception of their relationship, and we don't know how bad he felt about it afterwards. Should he have stopped when she said to? Of course. Could this situation gotten worse? Yes, but it didn't.

What we do know is that he wanted some sort of physical relationship with this woman and failed to make her aware of this until it was too late, he obviously has no skills in dealing with women, and he used deceit to gain her company (red flag for loser, just like expensive first dates).

He is weak. He lowered himself with his actions that day, and I guarantee that he knows it. I'm not sure this makes him a "predator" or that his life should be ruined or that he should be anally raped and beaten and possibly killed. AnonAikidoka should definitely talk to her sensei, which it sounds like she already has. Hopefully, the three of them can get together and clear things up. Our "predator" will have to make amends, which may include permanently leaving the dojo. Sometimes it is necessary to involve the criminal justice system; somehow, I don't think this is the time.

One last thing, AnonAikidoka,

Don't let this reflect badly on all men. The sooner you learn to recognize the ones that you shouldn't give the time of day to, the sooner you will find a confident, spiritual guy with integrity who knows how to laugh at life.

"Through aiki we can feel the mind of the enemy who comes to attack and are thus able to respond immediately." - M. Mochizuki
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