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If you really want to learn all you are likely to really need for self defense, go to RMCAT or participate in Fastdefense.com (or for women, model mugging). A weekend is enough for most reasonable self defence concerns.
For the rest, there is no alternative to visiting the local dojos and finding out if you like what you see. Aikido dojos range from very informal to totally regimented. They range from philosophical to kick butt.
Look and see what is really in your area, it may or may not meet your needs and expectations.
Paul Klembeck
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