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Old 01-13-2009, 06:09 PM   #23
dematteo84's Avatar
Dojo: Brisbane Yoshinkan
Location: Brisbane Queensland
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 8
Re: How to help shy women to have confident training

One girl at our dojo was a bit unsure of herself, she would occasionally hesitate during a techniques and worry about hurting her Uke (partner). At first I would tap out when she put locks on even if they weren't fully on, and wouldn't offer resistance.

One day I decided to wait for her to put the lock on correctly before I tapped out. It took her several attempts but she got it right, it was a good lock that left my arm feeling a bit sore afterwards.
After the technique she thanked me, and when it was my turn she did the same for me.

Now I have a good Uke to train with and we know each others limits. She does get a bit carried away at times and leaves me battered and bruised, but that is why I like training with her. Some of the male students on the other hand just slam me into the mat aggressively without considering my limits.

It is all about finding a balance and using the correct amount of force and or assertiveness on your Uke. Some people just need to find their confidence and you have to be patient with them and let hem develop. It can't be rushed or forced but rather something they find within themselves.

I was a shy individual myself, and it took years for me to be more confident. I still have more developing to do but I know that I need to be patient and force myself to take risks and worry less about what other people may think of me.
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