Re: bad technique vs. resistance
Good news. I'm glad you have recognised what you have. All I can say is well done.
If I'm reading you correctly it sounds to me like it's coming to terms with a readjustment. Like someone who is used to one environment who has now moved to another. Of course not as drastic as war when the person moves from that environment into civil society.
It's one of those apparent paradoxes where when you are faced with life threatening things daily (as in war) some feel more alive. Similarly when you are faced with a non-stop real attack it tends to wake you up.