Alberto_Italiano

Well at least I have worked out this thing - for the first time in my life gee!

With the provision that by the term "combat" I don't imply any parallelism with warfare (that would be ridiculous, and insulting to those who have been in warfare indeed), I think it's the following what happened to me:

The secret is never to be in combat (in my case, intense boxing confrontation).
If you have been there once, you will never forget it and you will never be able to adjust any more to any more relaxed setting.

Being still valid the previous provision, it's like what has been reported as a strange phenomenon occurring to veterans - thus it is no longer just a quirk of mine, evidently: I found a legacy where it belongs. This seems what happened to me, and that makes me feel unadjusted.

Normal life (in my proportion: normal "dojos") invariably seems insufficient then. You keep being haunted (though in this case in a "pleasant" way, not in a compulsive one) by combat memories. You long for it, also if you know your training capabilities have vanished long ago. You dream of resuming them.
You have been there. Nothing will be the same ever again.

Don't go there!

And now, what shall I do?
"What I am, I don't know. I roam, oppressed by my memories" (The Vedas)