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Old 10-01-2010, 03:49 PM   #94
Keith Larman
Dojo: AIA, Los Angeles, CA
Location: California
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,604
United_States
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Re: To bow or not to bow

Yeah, but if they're your laws, your problem.

My wife is of Japanese descent. Some family absolutely requires you remove your shoes before entering their house. You will get yelled at and you'll be seen as an uncouth, nasty person if you disregard their rules about their house. Others aren't so worried about it but they'd *prefer* it if you removed your shoes. Others still couldn't possibly care less.

Their house, their rules.

If someone doesn't want to come in because they don't want to remove their shoes, well, I'll say "that's a shame, however, have a lovely day regardless. See you later."

No one is telling anyone they have to change their behavior. Some do seem to take it much too lightly. I most certainly don't having Islamic friends who are very serious about their religious practice. Nothing but respect for them and their beliefs/practices.

I have been in houses of worship of all types. When I come in I try my best to be respectful. But I fully understand if someone feels their religion prohibits certain behavior that they can ask if the behavior is truly necessary. Hopefully people will make an honest decision on that sort of question. But I don't have a "right" answer. No one really does in any sort of absolute way.

When I walk into some peoples' houses I take off my shoes first. If I don't want to take my shoes off, well, it is their house so I don't go in.

Sometimes beliefs/needs/whatever conflict. Sometimes there is no solution. It may appear to be a minor thing (bowing in a dojo for instance). But some take it very seriously. I do not think bowing is critical to Aikido (personal opinion). However, I also don't believe that someone's religion's prohibition on bowing to someone else entitles them to anything more than a polite "thank you, but no thanks -- train elsewhere."

Honestly I don't see the problem. My house, my rules. Even if you think I'm being small and petty.

Personally I have no problem with no bowing. But I know that some in my organization (born in Japan and very serious about etiquette) might.

My desires to do or not do something are mine. I cannot expect everyone else to accommodate everything I want. Even if *I* think it is a minor thing. No entitlement here.

People are free to believe what they wish. They are free to worship whatever they'd like. Doesn't mean I have to accommodate everyone's requirements if I don't choose to. Doors let you in and doors let you out. They work both ways.

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