Thread: How to Say No
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Old 12-19-2008, 03:36 PM   #17
IP Hash: 78c13ef1
Anonymous User
Re: How to Say No

Lan Powers wrote: View Post
quote....Mark, Janet and others: Thank-you for you advice as well. I can see that you are trying to get me to see the problem differently, which I was entirely unprepared for. If I am a victim, I don't feel like one. I still think I have failed to describe the culture of this particular dojo well enough to convey that others are just not going to concern themselves in what is seen as *my* problem. And they will be annoyed at me trying involve them......end quote

This is SO unbelievably impersonal.

If the persistant-one is asking "soto-voice" on the mat during keiko, then a very soft, VERY direct no (preferably as nikyo is holding his attention) might make sure he gets the point.
Emphasise that you don't want to have to address this again
(before you release the nikyo).
for what it is worth, I hope he gets the point before things actually grow uglier.
I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean by impersonal. Did you think I was being inappropriately impersonal in my response or that the dojo culture here was impersonal or something else that I'm not seeing?

The nikyo point is well taken. I'm thinking that maybe I should exhaust all my non-physical options before escalating the situation to using physical means, even if it is non-injurious. I'm not entirely sure what I will do if he were to respond to anything physical like this or like Brunotex' suggestion with a mirrored physical response of his own.
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